Planning a wedding is a lot of work. No, really, this shit doesn't just happen. I don't want Dorothy to worry about a thing, I want it all to just BE on the big day, and I hope to have all the i's dotted and t's crossed. Wish me luck ;)
We picked our location after looking at a lot of places, like Vegas, Sedona and Yosemite to name just a few. Once we ruled out the destination wedding idea we combed San Diego for the perfect place... there was only a couple, and if they weren't already booked they were expensive. In addition to the cost of renting that perfect venue, there was catering, linens, a DJ, liquor, Lots of extras that one has to worry about as well. I had a vision, my friends James & Tanya had gotten married at a mansion on a cliff just south of the border, I liked that idea, I was hoping to find something similar.
The details kept coming. Back in December I had a clue about what is needed to put this thing on, I saw what my sister went through for her wedding and Hollywood does a great job of freaking people out when it comes to putting the big day together. I was up for the challenge, I have thrown quite a few parties in my day and although this was a bit larger than anything I'd pulled off I wasn't afraid. In fact I looked at it as a way to save us money, since I'm only partially employed why wouldn't I? Its not like we can afford to pay someone else to make these decisions, and I'm too type A to trust our vision to somebody else.
One afternoon I loaded her in the truck and we headed into Baja. We stopped at pretty much every beach-side community from Playas de Tijuana to Puerto Nuevo, including that spot my friends had been married at. Sadly that cliffside retreat was no longer available... I'm not sure why, maybe we partied a little to hard at their wedding and the owners decided to keep that gorgeous compound to themselves free from any more hippie invasions ;)
We finally decided that Las Rocas was the best. They had packages that included all of the main components, like the cake, linens, round-trip bus transport from the USA, servers, dinner & a DJ. I liked this idea since it knocked out all of the complications of having it south of the border, our wedding coordinator "Willy" would handle everything when it comes to food, liquor, transport and accommodations, and making sure those vendors are in place when we need them to be. We just needed to worry about everything else, and find 100 people that want to attend. (minimum number of guests required for a Saturday in the Summer)We considered getting married on a Thursday, and doing it during the off-season, to keep costs down. But overall the savings was not that much, and I didn't want to walk away from this day regretting not spending that extra cash.
One thing life and the older generations have taught me, "take each day one at a time, and don't sweat the small stuff."
I've always respected what my elders have to say, and I've spoken to more than just a couple of 50 plussers that commend me for my travels, regardless of how much it cost me or whether I could afford it. According to them, "one should take advantage of every opportunity." A funny quote that reminds me of just how basic life can be, "never pass up a chance to pee, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart."
Silly yet wise words.
I've always wanted to be rich, but I'd rather come out of the other end of life knowing I took every opportunity, and enjoyed it.
One thing life and the older generations have taught me, "take each day one at a time, and don't sweat the small stuff."
I've always respected what my elders have to say, and I've spoken to more than just a couple of 50 plussers that commend me for my travels, regardless of how much it cost me or whether I could afford it. According to them, "one should take advantage of every opportunity." A funny quote that reminds me of just how basic life can be, "never pass up a chance to pee, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart."
Silly yet wise words.
I've always wanted to be rich, but I'd rather come out of the other end of life knowing I took every opportunity, and enjoyed it.
So the planning began, we decided on a date, July 10th.
We chose our photographer, a friend of Dorothy's that specializes in making the happy couple look good.
She had her dress.
We chose our attendants and I started to outline what needed to happen to make this event one to remember.
Our friend Jackson agreed to be our minister... and a real stroke of luck, his girlfriend Trisch, a "retired" florist, was eager to make sure that detail was not something to stress over.
It was going well, we'd get together whenever we could both plop down in front of the computer and plan... researching everything from colors to wedding bands.
Overall details were made clear to us by a popular wedding website, theknot.com, their checklist is more than thorough, maybe too much so. But I needed that structure to keep me clear on things I would never have thought about, like the special pen for our guestbook, or remembering the attendant gifts.
We created a site to answer everyones questions, purchased jasonanddorothy.com, and our wedding pages were born. I've put a lot of time into making that site the one-stop-shop for anyone with questions, and it seems to have worked well so far.
We chose our photographer, a friend of Dorothy's that specializes in making the happy couple look good.
She had her dress.
We chose our attendants and I started to outline what needed to happen to make this event one to remember.
Our friend Jackson agreed to be our minister... and a real stroke of luck, his girlfriend Trisch, a "retired" florist, was eager to make sure that detail was not something to stress over.
It was going well, we'd get together whenever we could both plop down in front of the computer and plan... researching everything from colors to wedding bands.
Overall details were made clear to us by a popular wedding website, theknot.com, their checklist is more than thorough, maybe too much so. But I needed that structure to keep me clear on things I would never have thought about, like the special pen for our guestbook, or remembering the attendant gifts.
We created a site to answer everyones questions, purchased jasonanddorothy.com, and our wedding pages were born. I've put a lot of time into making that site the one-stop-shop for anyone with questions, and it seems to have worked well so far.
So the "Summer of Dorothy" was over, and it's time to start figuring out how to make her mine after the last few months damage.
It seems that I might be rounding a corner here, so I'll just start blurting it out. Everything I thought would happen once she got back into her school & life routine happened, she missed what we had together and lost interest in getting to know someone as well as she already knew me. It was never about another guy, it was about my commitment to her, and my willingness to be there for her. She got her own place, living with a former co-worker (Paul) and immediately started inviting me into her world.
Of course I'm taking my time, totally invested in commuting to Reno training for the new career while sending resumes and researching new opportunities. Over Labor Day we had already made separate plans, I was going to Seattle with my Dad and she was going back to moe.down in upstate NY for a sponsored trip from that other guy... wtf.
Now she didn't put it like that, she said "a bunch of friends got together and bought my plane ticket, I have to go." I tried to convince myself that she has that winning personality that makes random dudes want to buy you shit without the chance of sex in their future... right. I guess I just hoped for the best, there wasn't anything I could do except make the best of my own plans.
I had some fun enjoying Seattle with our family friend Joe, we were staying on his 65 foot yacht in Lake Union. It was a get together my father had looked forward to and I jumped at the trip since I needed to clear my head from the recent events.
I entertained myself by trying to fix the electrical system on the tender. (dinghy) When I woke I'd go running around the lake, and then study html. Everyday the party "hosts" would join us and the partying would begin.
That family has always been so good to me, and the weekend ended on a positive note once Dorothy reestablished contact with me with the clear statement that she had no interest in that guy, and would not be visiting him again. (Yay!)
Of course I'm taking my time, totally invested in commuting to Reno training for the new career while sending resumes and researching new opportunities. Over Labor Day we had already made separate plans, I was going to Seattle with my Dad and she was going back to moe.down in upstate NY for a sponsored trip from that other guy... wtf.
Now she didn't put it like that, she said "a bunch of friends got together and bought my plane ticket, I have to go." I tried to convince myself that she has that winning personality that makes random dudes want to buy you shit without the chance of sex in their future... right. I guess I just hoped for the best, there wasn't anything I could do except make the best of my own plans.
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| The Lorili, where I slept |
I had some fun enjoying Seattle with our family friend Joe, we were staying on his 65 foot yacht in Lake Union. It was a get together my father had looked forward to and I jumped at the trip since I needed to clear my head from the recent events.
I entertained myself by trying to fix the electrical system on the tender. (dinghy) When I woke I'd go running around the lake, and then study html. Everyday the party "hosts" would join us and the partying would begin.
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| Dinghy test run, I got pulled over (only given a warning) |
A New Beginning
The beautiful part is, I'm in love. My sister had a huge part in keeping me from running away, she simply said "If you don't want to be single, than don't be." It didn't make much sense, but I kept hope, followed my heart, and now we're back on track. Avery was so inspiring to me during these times, its amazing how a child can help us see the good in life. I had never been so motivated to grow with someone as I was with her... and that feeling helped me find conclusions with my feelings for Dot. I want these people in my life forever.
I would look at my sister and wonder how she had become so self-less, it was impressive to see such a positive change in her since she had my niece and I was proud of the family she had created. I was also happy my Mom had made the move to San Diego bringing my family back together for the first time in so long, her words and experience are always from the heart, and her love for Avery helped me to make these decisions, with the support of the ones you love you can accomplish anything. So although my professional life isn't coming together as clearly as I'd wished, I felt like the universe was still with me.
I would look at my sister and wonder how she had become so self-less, it was impressive to see such a positive change in her since she had my niece and I was proud of the family she had created. I was also happy my Mom had made the move to San Diego bringing my family back together for the first time in so long, her words and experience are always from the heart, and her love for Avery helped me to make these decisions, with the support of the ones you love you can accomplish anything. So although my professional life isn't coming together as clearly as I'd wished, I felt like the universe was still with me.
She is all about planning for the future, and I'm ready for it. Our backup plan IF consistent employment doesn't come easily, have a baby and I'll be the stay at home parent. No problem, I never thought of myself as a normal father, and this idea, regardless of how difficult it is financially, is extremely appealing. I think deep down this might be the only way I could be happy raising a child, having not grown up in the same house as my father I'm hoping to experience the little things that make Dad's love being Dad's.
Now we're in mid-September, I'm all about training for the new web design career so I read the books my new boss had provided for me, and worked on random projects that he would toss my way. We were connected through the internet so when time allowed I could share my screen and he could talk me through whatever challenges I would encounter. I had purchased a new computer for this work and it was a PC, so Hat Trick welcomed the "other" perspective when it came to building things for the world wide web.
After a week home I packed up that machine and brought it back to Reno, it was time for the next level of training, and Zach had some home maintenance he would rather pay me to help him with than hire a painter. This time Dot was obviously missing me, but I had a plan to leave Reno to work on a farm in Mendocino County, so I'd budgeted to be away for over three weeks.
My sister was also giving me grief over not being around for Avery's 2nd birthday so once we finished the "Fall refurbishing" of the Lakeridge Shores beast of a house my old friend calls home, I decided to fly from San Fran to San Diego for the weekend before heading into Nor Cal for harvest season employment.
After a week home I packed up that machine and brought it back to Reno, it was time for the next level of training, and Zach had some home maintenance he would rather pay me to help him with than hire a painter. This time Dot was obviously missing me, but I had a plan to leave Reno to work on a farm in Mendocino County, so I'd budgeted to be away for over three weeks.
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I found a ticket on Virgin America for $49 round trip from SFO to SAN - thats cheaper than driving! So I contacted an old friend from KSWB, Don, and after the 4 hour drive from Reno stashed my truck at his house in the east bay for the weekend. After reacquainting myself with his wife and new boys he drove me to the airport, I made it home and helped my family put on a nice little party at a park on Mission Bay.
It was nice seeing Dorothy, and she was very appreciative for my efforts, we spent the days together till I had to board another plane back to the bay area. Don picked me up, (this guy is the man, and I miss working with him everyday) I was paired with my truck once again and made my way to the village of Ukiah for some time with friends Missy, her daughter Luna & the Matars. After a night there I made it to another friends and picked up some extra cash helping out around the property, but just 2 days in I received a call from Reno...
It was nice seeing Dorothy, and she was very appreciative for my efforts, we spent the days together till I had to board another plane back to the bay area. Don picked me up, (this guy is the man, and I miss working with him everyday) I was paired with my truck once again and made my way to the village of Ukiah for some time with friends Missy, her daughter Luna & the Matars. After a night there I made it to another friends and picked up some extra cash helping out around the property, but just 2 days in I received a call from Reno...
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| Overnight in a yert, Mendocino County |
My friend was having a hard time, and he was hoping I could come back sooner than I had planned. I apologized to my bro in Mendo and thanked him for the work even if only for a few days. Life up there is so simple, the atmosphere is free from anxiety and every day ends with us watching the sunset. I was sad to leave but after all of the support Zach had given me over the Summer there was no way I could say no.
On my way home my friend Lisa, who had just gotten an apartment in Ukiah, was having a dinner party with several OBcians AND the other old friends I've already mentioned. It was a nice gathering, after a few drinks I ended up spending the night and getting up early the next morning to drive the 250 miles back to Washoe County.
On my way home my friend Lisa, who had just gotten an apartment in Ukiah, was having a dinner party with several OBcians AND the other old friends I've already mentioned. It was a nice gathering, after a few drinks I ended up spending the night and getting up early the next morning to drive the 250 miles back to Washoe County.
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| Cleo in Reno |
I've read most of Jack Kerouac's books, one book, the Dharma Bums, mentions a mountain that has always stuck in my head as a place I'd like to see... the Matterhorn. It was in the Sawtooth Range just north of Yosemite, and we were on our way. Just about 3 hours south on the 395, and then west from Bridgeport one parks near Twin Lakes Campground to access that wilderness. We packed our bags, stocked with minimal food and made our way up the valley towards this famous peak.
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| Twin Lakes |
This is what we needed, some good clean fun in the woods to take our minds off the realities that were weighing us down. We took a ton of pics along the way and enjoyed the sunshine reflecting off the many cascades flowing over the Sierra granite. Eventually we started looking for a place to sleep, we hadn't brought a tent thinking the weather would hold and sleeping under the stars could be just fine.
But the clouds were moving in, and the wind was blowing at a constant rate, we sensed a storm was brewing. Our solution was to backtrack to some rocks we had passed and search for some sort of shelter amongst. After some remodeling and fancy tarp installation we had a nice little cave sheltered from whatever might threaten our peace. Although the night was windy, our sleeping bags were comfy and I slept pretty good till the morning...
We woke up to a few inches of snow outside of out rocky dwelling, and quickly broke camp to prevent out gear from getting wet. We'd done pretty good through the night, our "commando" style was nostalgic of overnights in Pennsylvania before we could drive, but we weren't prepared for inclement weather. We made our way out of the Toiyabe National Forest and back to the truck, after a few more hours we were having sushi at the Peppermill celebrating a good hike that whet our whistles for a more extreme adventure sometime in the near future.
But the clouds were moving in, and the wind was blowing at a constant rate, we sensed a storm was brewing. Our solution was to backtrack to some rocks we had passed and search for some sort of shelter amongst. After some remodeling and fancy tarp installation we had a nice little cave sheltered from whatever might threaten our peace. Although the night was windy, our sleeping bags were comfy and I slept pretty good till the morning...
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| In the Cave |
I spent a few more days in Reno, Zach held a few "design" classes and we made some progress towards my education while tying up some loose ends around the house. I hadn't been "home" other than to visit in three weeks, it was time to make my way back to San Diego and acclimate to the new lifestyle. There was a new roommate living in my house, and I was back to "sleeping over" when I wanted to spend the night with my girlfriend. It was gonna be weird, but I was ready, at least I had a little promise... October is my favorite month in San Diego and after nine hours on the 395 I had made it back to my humble abode. I'm just about halfway through the "catching up" phase of this blog, and it seems like I've already gotten through most of the negative shit, lets hope the second half comes as easy as the first!
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